“Grief, Joy, and the 'Art' of Coming Back to Life”

Blog Number One! Let the Journey Begin!

Before the Copper Penny Van Quest, Before Willow & Root — The Path That Led Me Here

Before I dive into the adventures of the Copper Penny Van Quest, or lay out the long-term vision of Willow & Root, I want to start somewhere quieter — with a behind-the-scenes story. This story isn’t a polished origin tale or a neat timeline. It’s the messy, tender truth of how my path has looped back to itself, carrying me to this place — to this larger goal, to this legacy project.

I am still walking my healing path, and because of that, I want to tell my story with intention — without blame, without falling into the trap of victimhood, and without the harshness of self-ridicule. What I want to share is my perception of my path, because that’s my truth. And I want to share it with respect, both for myself and for those who have played a part in it.

Because where I am now — emotionally, spiritually, creatively — makes this telling important.

Truth Without Apology

At the time of writing this, I’m moving through strong waves of grief and emotion. This is not the first time, but it feels different. Because this time, I’m tired of bending my truth to make it more comfortable for others. And I’m equally tired of seeing myself only as a victim in my own story.

That’s not to say I wasn’t victimized — I was. There were wounds, betrayals, and moments I could barely crawl through. But my healing isn’t about erasing what happened, or pretending it didn’t hurt. My healing is about offering love and comfort to those past versions of me — the ones who survived, even when survival felt impossible.

I need those younger versions of me to know this truth: What was done to you — directly and indirectly — was not your fault.

And now, we grieve together. We mourn what was lost. We honor the parts of ourselves that went quiet just to stay safe. And slowly, we learn to love ourselves — not just for who we’ve become, but for who we were at every step along the way.

From Victim to Survivor to Creator

This is the heart of why Willow & Root exists. It is the space I dreamed of as a child — a safe, creative refuge where healing wasn’t just something you whispered about in private, but something you lived out loud, through art, through connection, through a wild and unapologetic return to self.

This is the space I needed then. It’s the space I need now. And it’s the space I want to offer to others who are learning to move past survival, into thriving.

This is the backstory of Mama Wolf — my reclamation of self, my commitment to creating a sanctuary where love is a practice and art is a language. Where grief and creativity walk hand in hand. Where every brushstroke, every word, every quiet moment becomes a way to speak the unspoken, so love can finally move freely through all the spaces where we once felt empty.

This is my truth. And this is where we begin.